I don't know if I'm going back to Crystal Springs for summer school anymore... Austin probably won't talk to me, which people like Tim will bug me about, making me more miserable than I already am. I'm going to try to go for Vivian's sake, but I guess time will tell.

Some people are asking my why I'm so depressed. Why are you so happy? Because you just are. I'm just depressing, okay? Deal with it.

I got kicked, scratched, slapped, cut, clawed, punched, and elbowed by the same person. And she only gave me one apology...

I wish things would be like they were back then.
But when life is shattered, it can't be perfect again.
I can only wish and I can only try,
But I can't forget that one goodbye.

You ruined my life, haunted my sleep.
Made me angry, made me weep.
Even if I start life anew,
No matter what, I won't forgive you.

Today was horrible... My mom might get some suicide help or something for me. I'm not even suicidal. Shut up! I know what you're thinking. This entire WEBSITE is suicidal... Well, it's not. It's just a place for my darker thoughts, my more depressing entries because I can't put them on my Xanga. I don't trust everyone who reads my Xanga... some of them consider themselves my friends. And I can't help it if I'm a depressing person...

would it have ended in tragedy
if my morals didn't count?
if you said sorry a million times
would it be the right amount?
if the world itself came to an end
would i smile and say okay?
would i forget all you said and did
and shrug this fucking fight away?
it would've made me weaker
if i did just what you said
i wouldn't have been strong or happy
so i'll just sit and cry instead
i hate what you put me through
i'm sure you don't understand
no matter what i'll be upset with you
so my ground i'll stand
but as my eyes drift over you
my ice cold heart begins to weep
and even though i'm mad as hell at you
you're in my head before i sleep
it isn't love or lust, but pain
but i dont think you see.
i only cry because i'm hurt
not for you to pity me...